Getting stared down...

Lately, Jacob has been staring at me. Usually, only when I have food. I think he wants some. HA. This morning, as I was eating my breakfast (which only my mother will know what I had... keep it a secret, mom!), Jacob started lunging for it. Really?!?! I eventually had to move it out of his line of sight to make him stop. What happened to my baby?!?

We started oatmeal today (of course, with our ped's permission). He's been on rice cereal for reflux for awhile, but when I tried to spoon-feed him with it yesterday, he wouldn't take any. So, today, we tried oatmeal! It actually went pretty well! It just seems that Jacob is growing up way too fast. He's no longer willing to lay on the floor for hours, he wants to sit or stand up. He's very vocal about how he feels, and he loves to giggle and smile.

I know I wrote in another post about being content with where they are right now. And how I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to go back to the baby stage. Now? I miss my baby!! I guess this is why people have more than one?? No promises, Grandma!!

At what point did you realize that your little boy/girl was not so little anymore???

My Child is clingy...

Before, I could put Jacob on the ground and pretty much walk away. Do whatever I wanted. Look down at the floor every once in awhile to make sure he was alive. I could walk into a different room and check email, change bed sheets, etc. And, no worries! I knew he would stay put and for the most part be happy. It was a happy existence. Except the no sleep part...

Now? OH MY GOODNESS. If I put him on the floor he starts screaming. Now, it's only at nighttime right now. Or he's happy on the floor for approximately 3.5 minutes. And then he screams. It's almost like I've abandoned him... which, obviously, I haven't! Goodness kid, I'm like 10 feet away!!!!!!!!! I've tried reasoning with him. This goes really well with a 5 month old (sarcasm). I get down by his face and tell him I'm right here. And he screams. Uggggh.

So, I've resorted to picking him up. He screams, I pick him up. Can anyone say creating a bad habit?? I sure can! I think I noticed it yesterday. He screamed quickly, looked up to me to see if I was going to come get him. When I didn't, he screamed more. Some may say that he's still little and is trying to tell me he needs something... but all he wants is to be held. I love cuddling, but I also love getting things done. This is driving me NUTS!

Has this happened to any of you?? If yes, HOW DID YOU FIX IT?!?!?!

Full Moon = Crazy Baby??

If you've been pregnant, you know that a full moon *may* cause labor (I think it's an old myth but it seems to actually happen)! I'd like to start a new myth. I think a full moon causes a crazy baby!! Example 1 - Jacob. He was a fuss bucket yesterday! Example 2 - My nephew. He was screaming his head off for no reason yesterday. Example 3 - Everyone else's babies who didn't sleep last night.

Ok, I may be stretching this a bit. But really, it seems like there is something in the universe making babies crazy! The one good thing is it's over already. I have my sweet, sleeping, happy baby back. YES. I'm ecstatic! And those with fussy babies 24-7?? You are totally my hero's! Yesterday was a day I hope to forget very soon!!

Was your baby fussy yesterday?? What was the worst thing he/she did???

I HATE SHOTS!!

Ugh. This has been a very bad day in the Ridley household. As you can see, this blog is a bit late. That is because I have a clingy, feverish baby on my hands who won't nap! He's been running a fever since last night and we've been working the tylenol. But just when I thought the fever was over (this afternoon), it came back full force tonight. FRUSTRATION!! Why do they do this to us parents?!?!?!?!

Really, isn't there a better way to take care of these shots?? And, can't they figure out how to give them and protect them without making them grumpy and angry?!?! You should have seen the color of Jacob's face! It seriously was purple...

So we went back to the doctor today because this morning it was really, really high (101.8)... and they said it's normal. UGH. If it doesn't go away in 48 hours I have to call back. Since it's still around, we'll see if it goes away tomorrow. Blah blah blah. And the worst part?? I can't make it better. I can hold, cuddle, rock, etc. but I can't take away his pain. Oh I wish I could!!!!!!!!

What is your least favorite part of shots?!?!

Cooking everywhere!!

Lately, I've had this bug. It's this odd craving to cook. Yes, if you know me, that is a VERY odd craving! I made a roast on Friday, meatballs on Saturday, muffins, cookies, filling... what is wrong with me?! Really, what is it?! I never, ever cooked like this. Maybe it's now that I'm a mom I feel like I need to do this. That it's my requirement as a mother. Even though Jacob doesn't eat, and the one who does has been around for 3 1/2 years! Ha...

So today, I got an email about a recipe exchange. And I have to admit, I kind of took it with a grain of salt. I've tried to do this before, and I got ONE response. ONE. Seriously?! That thing says I should get 36 responses!!!!!!!! Apparently I am doing something terribly wrong! And then I think about all of the cookbooks I've never touched on my shelf. Do I really need 36 more recipes that I'll never make???

What is it that makes us want recipes even if we'll never use them?? Granted, I've used one or two that was recommended. But, for the most part, I make what I've eaten and enjoyed. My recommendation?? Instead of sending emails for recipes, let's send meals. That way, I'll know whether or not I want you recipe. Ok? Ok.

What is your favorite thing to eat?? Let me know if you need my address... :-D

Daddy needs a pacifier....??

Let me start this post out saying that I dearly, dearly love my husband, and he is the best daddy ever!!! Now, with that being said, sometimes, he just says and does the craziest things. As I was lamenting with a dear friend, she said that she wishes sometimes there was a pacifier for her husband. HA. I'm leaving her nameless so she doesn't get in trouble... heehee.

I have to say I totally agree. Although he is very good at coming home and pitching in, I want to give him a pacifier those times that he complains about changing one diaper every other day. Or when he whines about the puking, after I've been covered in puke all day. Sometimes I want to take that pacifier I use for Jacob, and plug it right into his mouth!! It makes me wonder how many times he wants to do the same thing to me!!

Having a child really does change the dynamic of your marriage. I didn't need a break before, and no one would have complained about changing a diaper a year ago, because there was no diaper to change! His one comment that always gets me riled up (and he knows it does, so he says it!) is "I need a break" after playing with Jacob for a half hour. My response?? SERIOUSLY?!?! And then he laughs. Silly man...

What does your significant other do that makes you want to give him/her a pacifier???

My home is no longer my sanctuary...

A lot of you may be wondering what exactly I mean. Do you remember how every day you ache to get home to the comfort of your house, slip on your comfy clothes, and hang out on the couch?? Your home becomes your getaway from the world place. Work and its problems for the most part won't fall you home. You can leave them at the doorstep.

Unless you're a stay-at-home mom. Then, your problems are IN the house. It's absolutely fabulous to stay-at-home and have the ability to wear my sweats all day. But, you see, I can't leave my problems. My problem is 4.5 months old and he follows me everywhere I go. If he's cranky, I can't just walk out the door and tell him I'll see him tomorrow. If he's cranky, I'm stuck with him. Some days I may want to hide in my room and shut the door, but I can't. Because if I do, he'll just scream louder!

Now, I hope this doesn't sound ungrateful. I am SO grateful that I can stay home with my little munchkin as he grows right now. But I very much miss the ability to come home to escape the world. To know that no problem can follow me into my house unless I choose to let it.

So what part of your sanctuary do you miss the most??

Oh the warmth & coziness!!

As I was talking to a fellow mom yesterday (Hi Steph!), we were lamenting probably one of the worst parts of motherhood. Getting out of bed at night. Now, if you actually have a child that sleeps, this will not be a concept you understand. And I will be bitter about that for a bit. Maybe I'll let it go.... HA!

When that little cry (or not so little) escapes and wakes you out of a dead sleep, after you cry to yourself a bit, you get out of bed and stumble across to their room. And at that moment, you miss that warm and cozy bed you just got out of. Your heart cries out to be back in there, drooling on your pillow, and dreaming of odd things.

I think the worst part is when you actually get back into bed. Yes, of course, you're happy to be there! But, it's cold. It's really, really cold. And it's going to take awhile to get back up to that cozy temperature. So, for a good 5 minutes, you sit there and shiver. And hope, against all hopes, that that was it for the night. That you won't have to do this again until the morning!

Have you had this experience?? What's the worst part to you of waking up in the middle of the night???

I don't wanna play!

Today, I don't want to play. I want to curl up in a ball with a good book in front of a fireplace and sip on some cappuccino. Mmmmm. I could seriously get lost in this little dream of a day!!! Some quietness, a little light music in the background. Yes please!

Unfortunately, I don't get to do that anymore. And neither do you, momma. I guess I should feel better that there's other people out there getting showers in 10 minutes and going potty while the little one is screaming. But someone how, it just doesn't!

I want a day off. I want a day without any crying, without any spit-up. I want a day to myself. A day to do all the things I want too. To enjoy a quiet, calm household. I only have approximately 18 years. And that's if we don't have another kid. Oh boy.

What would you do if you had a day to yourself???

How to "call" your child...

On Saturday, my dear friends Robin & Jason stopped by. Old Navy has an AWESOME sale right now where you get a free child's item for every adult item you buy. And since they don't yet have children (although I'm hoping they will SOON!), they got things for Jacob. How awesome are they!!! (Answer: REALLY awesome!)

As they were hanging out with us, I started "calling" Jacob to get him to look at me. You know what I mean, right?? Almost like you call a dog. Which, since Robin & Jason have a dog, they understand. In fact, they told me it's ok to do that. But it's more like I'm calling a horse than a dog. So then I tried to make the parallel between a child and a horse. It was a shining moment for me as a mom.

Isn't it intriguing how we "call" our children when they're babes? We know they'll look when they hear noises, so we make the most amazing and loud noises we possibly can! And I do it quite often. Sometimes I'm afraid the neighbors are going to mistake my child for an animal. At least I think that until he starts screaming. Then I'm pretty sure they know it's a baby.

So how do you "call" your child???

Love being flexible!

My favorite part of being a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) is my ability to go do things I would have not been able to do while working. For instance, today I went to watch my cousin try on wedding dresses. It was SO much fun!!! I think I had more fun than she did... HA! It makes me think that I may need a life, but most of me feels like it was such an exciting moment and I was so glad to be a part of it!!

It made me think about how many things I can now attend or go to since I'm not trapped in an office for 9+ hours a day! Now I can enjoy MOPS, going out to eat with friends, play dates, and many, many more! Although it also means I have time to do the shopping and cleaning during the day... not so fun. Boo.

Sometimes I start to get a bit bored and think about finding a part-time job. But, if I had any type of job (besides being a mommy), I couldn't be as flexible! I think, for now, I'm just going to be a mommy. That job is hard enough! And it also lets me have lots of fun...

What is your favorite part of staying at home?? Or, if you're a working momma, what is your favorite part of working??

I hate the middle of the night!

So last night was not a good night in our home. Jacob was up twice between 8pm and 8am. UGGGH. And I began to realize something. When he doesn't sleep well during the day, I'm a little upset, but it's not a big deal. In the middle of the night?? Oh snap. You did NOT get up in the middle of the night!

I guess it's been the last two days that I've woken up at 1am and 3am because of a non-sleeping child, and I grumble. I say out loud, "You are NOT supposed to be up!" Now granted, he really isn't. But I get MAD. Don't worry, by the time I get to him it goes away. I just HATE to get out of bed!! Sometimes I lay there and hope Josh will get up - HA.

I think some of it is the stumbling across the hallway to get to him, knowing that I'll probably run into a wall. Or having to make him a bottle and forgetting how many scoops went in. The problem is the minute I pick him up and those sleepy little eyes find me and he smiles. Honestly, I look away so I don't laugh or smile back (it's nighttime, ya know?). Don't worry, I'll always hate to get out of my warm, cozy bed but that little baby's smile makes it less bad.

What part of the day do you HATE?!

Playing is fun!!

Today was a play date with two lovely women in my homegroup and their babes! Oh what fun! After they realized I should never plan a play date again (a park at 50 degrees and wet is not a good idea...), we had an awesome time at the Burger King play area! I have to admit, I LOVE play areas. I think I love them more than kids.

Honestly, part of me thinks I had a child so I can go in ball pits and go on slides again. Seriously, it is THAT much fun! So when the one child wanted to go on the slide, I easily volunteered to go with her. Oh my goodness, I want to be a kid again! Why do we not have a ball pit for adults?? Or a jungle gym for adults?? I guess it might be weird...

So, as I am up near the helicopter, a manager walks in with one of his employees. I almost died. I hid behind the little girl and wanted for him to disappear. When he did, I yelled down, "Did we get in trouble?" Is there something about a kids area that makes me feel like I'm in trouble again??? I am a mom now! I should not be afraid of a Burger King manager!!!!

If you need a chuckle today, just picture me hiding in the play area from a Burger King manager.

Are there times you feel like you're going to get yelled at, even though you're not a kid anymore???

I need to get out of my sweatpants...

I think this is a common theme, the sweatpants. When you think of a stay-at-home mom, you think of sweatpants. It's just the territory! Also, because about every 2 hours you have some small child puking on you. So why bother with the pretty clothes?? Why bother putting on jeans or dress pants?? I feel like I can say that when Jacob goes to school, I'll be wearing real pants by then. But, if I'm not willing to wear them now, will I be willing to wear them then??

So what do I do? I really don't want to make some sort of commitment where I'll actually get out of my sweats for a week. But I feel so much better when I look presentable. Maybe I need to buy a pair of jeans for every day of the week, so I don't care if they get thrown up on. Right now, I am in sweats and a t-shirt that now have crusted on throw-up. Who wants to come over and hang out with me?!?!?!

My favorite comment when I lament about these things is that when he's older it will be different. But if I don't change the habits now, will I ever change them later??

So, be honest, are you reading this in your sweats??

I quit breastfeeding...

About two weeks ago, I quit breastfeeding. I would have confessed earlier, if I had told my superstar sister-in-law! I withheld from her because she is amazing. My nephew will be one on November 5th (woot!) and she is still going strong!!!! I like to call her super woman :-)

It's funny, when you tell people you're done, most will ask why. I guess that's a normal reaction?? There wasn't one specific reason I stopped, but a whole bunch that when I put them together I decided it was time. My supply was going down, he wasn't eating nicely, he was gassy no matter what I cut out and he wasn't sleeping at night. So, I stopped. And honestly, I think I'm a better mother because of it. I'm happier, I'm lighter (ha ha ha), I don't have to wear nursing bras, I can feed him comfortably in public, and many other reasons! And I don't miss breastfeeding one bit.

I'm on a board for other moms with June babies and it's amazing what they say to each other as well as what strangers will say to them about formula feeding vs. breastfeeding. Now that I've been on both sides, I'd say they both have their negatives and positives. I just don't understand why people feel the need to look down on others that formula feed OR breastfeed. Either way, the child is being fed!! So, if you see a mom formula feeding, tell her good job. Or, if you see a mother breastfeeding, tell her you're proud of her. Either way, we are being good mommies!!!

Did anyone ever say anything to you about formula feeding or breastfeeding??? And, when did you stop breastfeeding??

Child personalities...

So at MOPS yesterday, we talked about our personalities. And one question that came up was how your personality affected the relationship you have with your child and their personality. It got me thinking about Jacob's personality, even though he can't talk yet!! Will he take after me, his dad or will he be a combination of both of us???

Already I see parts of both of us! When he stubbornly says he will not go to sleep, that is definitely his mom. And then, when he takes his time rolling over and thinking it through, that is definitely his dad. When his bottle won't come fast enough, definitely his mom! And when sports are on and Jacob can't tear his eyes away, that is definitely his daddy!

So as I see this little baby growing into a little boy, I constantly wonder what traits and what personality he'll have. Truthfully, I hope he has more of his father's persona than mine!! But either way, I cannot wait to see the personality he has as he grows. Like every parent, I hope he is loving and kind but has the ability to stick up for himself and be independent. Well, here we go!

Does your child have your personality, your significant others, or a mix??

And the little one said, "Roll over!"...

For many days, Jacob has been close to rolling over. He would go to his side and contort his entire body, but he just could not get the whole way over! He would try over, and over, and over again. No success. We'd put him near the TV so he'd strain to watch it. Day after day we "practiced" since he wanted to be on his belly anyway!

And then, on Tuesday, he did it! His little hands clasped, and his head picked up off the blanket, and over he went!! I was so excited that I scared him by cheering so loudly. The ped was talking about how neat it is when it's your child reaching the milestone, and I so understood it at that moment. Seeing my child accomplish this milestone was amazing. I was so proud!! Especially after thinking he would never, ever do it!

Sometimes, I think God looks at us the same way. And today, that's something I need to remember. He wants us to accomplish milestones and He cheers so loudly when we do it. He is constantly watching and encouraging us to do that thing we never thought we could... stepping out of our comfort zones into something that stretches us just a bit more than we want to.

So what is your milestone you're reaching???

Doing For You

(Yay Guest Posts!!! This comes from a dear friend from college, who is experiencing this fun right alongside of me as her son is only a few weeks younger than Jacob... Thanks for the guest post Steph!!!!!)

It is amazing how quickly and completely your life changes once your little one arrives. Your life becomes about someone other than yourself. You spend your days meeting the physical and emotional needs of someone who cannot help themselves. Your daily goals are showering and brushing your teeth before lunch. Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but I also realized that it is important to remember myself.

This realization came about two months after Bryan was born as I was talking with a co-worker who asked the normal new baby questions-how is he sleeping, eating etc. Then she asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks, “What are you doing for yourself?” My first instinct was to reply, “Oh lots of stuff”, but then that wasn’t true. My brain went into panic mode trying to come up with something that I was doing for myself. Showering every day? Taking naps? Those didn’t count, they are just a part of daily survival. Surely there was something that I was doing for just me…wasn’t there?

Later that night, haunted by this question I took a good look at my life and realized that since my little one arrived my life had become about him and those “something for me” moments had faded into oblivion. It was after this realization that I decided to take action. I was going to do something for me, but what? Every time I came up with an idea, I came up with an excuse for why it wasn’t going to work. Too much money…not enough time…I’d rather sleep…

After some encouragement (and a giant nudge from my loving husband) I finally decided that I was going to start a sewing project. So I went to the store, bought the fabric and began work. The experience was liberating! I didn’t feel guilty or selfish like I thought I would, instead I felt re-energized. I was doing something that I wanted to do and that was just for me.

It is important to remember that just because we become mothers, doesn’t mean we have to stop doing things for ourselves. Sure, it is much harder to find the time, the energy and the motivation, but it is not impossible. It has been about a month since my epiphany and my sewing project is no closer to completion, but it is nice to know that it’s there for those times when I need a “something for me” moment.

So, I ask you, in the hopes that, unlike me, you have an answer “What are you doing for yourself?”

Linea nigra aka my belly looks weird...

For those of you not yet blessed with being pregnant, linea nigra (latin for black line - how nice to dress it up fancy) is a dark line that goes from underneath your boobs to your pelvic region. Wikepedia has pictures too... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linea_nigra

You develop this lovely line throughout your pregnancy, and the closer you are to "popping", the darker the line gets. For some reason, I decided that the line would completely disappear as soon as I gave birth. Jacob would come out, the line would go away, everything would be perfect. Right?? Wrong. Very wrong.

In fact, that stupid little line is still there. Do you know what I heard?? It can last up to a YEAR. And for some people, it NEVER goes away. Are you kidding me?!?!?!?! Some people said they could rub it off. Yes, we are all desperate to get this line gone. Did I try it? You better believe it!! And it didn't work. Ugh.

I think I'm destined to have linea nigra for the rest of my life.

Do you still have your linea nigra? If not, when did it go away???

Your hair is everywhere...

Dashboard Confessional anyone?? Yes?? Yes??

I keep singing this song every morning/afternoon/evening as I find hairs in my child's hands, on blankets, and by the sink. It is seriously disgusting! And yes, I do vacuum and clean!! I have to admit, I'm secretly thrilled that my hair is falling out. Thrilled! Why??

When you become pregnant, some hormone makes your hair stop falling out, becomes more voluminous (is that a word?), and thicker. Really, I do not need it. Honestly! I kept hoping maybe I would be an exception, but the hair stopped falling out. It wasn't by the sink, on the floor, etc. It was crazy!!

And then, about a week and a half ago, it started falling out. Some people say it falls out in clumps. Mine hasn't done that yet, but it's definitely coming out!! It's all over the shower floor every day. And I'm thrilled!! My husband is not so thrilled.

Were you excited about your hair falling out or saddened??

What happened to me??

When I used to go out with people, the range of topics would be great. My job, my husband, chores, activities, funny stories, etc. Last night, I went out with some awesome mom's from MOPS. And do you know what my conversation was about???? Yep, you mom's know!! It was about Jacob. All of it! His poop, his eating habits, pregnancy issues... I guess you could say that is what we had in common... but really??

What happened to the interesting me?? The one with entertaining activities and lots of stories? It makes me mourn what has happened, although honestly I think it's an ok change. I swore I wouldn't be the frumpy mom in her sweats in the grocery store. I broke that one awhile ago! At least I still try to dry and style my hair most days! I don't know what I'll do if I have another one though!

So what is this miracle that happens as soon as we give birth?? And stay-at-home? Do we ever get back that fun, sexy, stylish person we used to be??

What part of the "old you" do you miss???