Preparing for the Holidays...

I can't believe Jacob is six and a half months old, AND it's Christmas-time!  Where did the last year of my life go??  I can't believe how slow it seemed a year ago, and how fast this year.  Just crazy!  But now I face a whole new challenge.  Last year at this time, it was SO easy to be gone for 10 days, visit anyone we wanted to, and pack.  This year?  A whole different ball game!

Now we have to figure out what to get a little boy that is special enough for a first Christmas.  I'm pretty sure Jacob will only care about the wrapping paper, but there's still something special about his first Christmas gift.  And then, we get to travel.  I am SO thankful for wonderful parents and in-laws who want to see us and put up with us for a few days.  So now we prepare.  I need to make my packing list and check it about nineteen times.  You almost would think they don't have stores near where we're going, the way I'm thinking about packing!

So in the end, truly, I am excited to share this holiday with him.  Definitely one of my favorites!  And I'm so excited for him to be loved on by his grandparents and family.  And the food!  I'm definitely excited about that!  The blog will most likely be non-existent for the next two weeks.  I should be back to writing in 2011!  That is weird...  anyone remember worrying about 2000?  Man!

What is your favorite part of the next two weeks??

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Holidays!! 

Mornings are evil...

We didn't have such a good sleeping night last night.  I think Jacob is teething??  I question it, because he's been "teething" for the last 3.5 months.  We'll see if this time something is actually produced.  Anyway, he woke up at 1:30 am in a screaming fit.  Let me tell you, that is the WORST way to wake up!  So we were up for about an hour working on getting him back to sleep.  I was so hopeful for sleeping until 8:00 am, but this is just a pipe dream.

So our next screaming fit was at 6:30 am.  I can't tell you how much I hate that time of the morning.  I don't even know if I can put it into words.  I thought I was becoming a morning person again, but I'm pretty sure I'm regressing.  When in high school, my parents were not allowed to speak to me until I had been up for an hour.  I'm pretty sure I reinstated that rule this morning.  I promised both Josh & Jacob that I would be selling them to the Russians today.  (Just in case you were wondering, I didn't.... yet.)

I can't seem to find a way to get happy in the morning.  Morning is for sleeping and quietness.  It's for sunshine and birds that don't require my voice.  And it's definitely NOT for babies who have learned how to blow raspberries while eating their oatmeal.  Oh how I want my mornings back!  I'm thinking maybe I should run to the other bed in the mornings and camp out for a bit.  The main problem?  My husband hates mornings too.

What is your favorite and/or least favorite part of mornings??

A new type of jeans...

I believe this is an idea I've thrown out with my sister-in-law a few times, but I think it's time to share it with my faithful readers.  The reason?  I do not have the ability to do this, and it's time SOMEONE gets out there and does it!  So this is my idea.

We need a new type of jeans.  I'm weary of calling them "mom jeans" as that ultimately throws you back to tapered leg, faded, high rising "mom jeans".  I'm thinking of a hipper, new jeans.  Jeans that every mom would wear.  Not because they are ugly, but because they do wonderous things to you.  Things that every woman dreams of.

1. They would suck in your tummy.  Not enough that it brings the rest of your tummy above the pants, but enough that it looks like you never had a baby.  Hot.
2. It would make your thighs look like they never expanded.  
3. It would always stay the same shape.  I hate when you put pants on that are uber tight which stretch so much after wearing them for an hour that you need a belt to keep them up!
4. When you turned to the side, it would make you look like a Size 2 again.  Or for the first time.  Whichever.
5. I think they might have to reach up under your boobs just to keep things in place.  A bit uncomfortable, but that's ok.

Maybe these are really the maternity jeans.  But these would be better.  Because they'd suck things in, which obviously you can't do while pregnant.  So, if you are a designer, please start designing.  If you've heard of these, let me know where I can buy 829473 of them & give them to every mother I know. 

What would you add to the list???

My little burrito...

Do you remember how I said before I don't follow all the rules?  Well, one of the "rules" is never use a blanket with your baby.  We've used a blanket since he's been about a month old.  The reason is so they don't pull it over their heads.  Which makes sense, except my baby sleeps on his tummy.  A few times now I've started to worry as he's been able to grasp the blanket. 

But lately, Jacob has created a new ability.  He rolls to both sides and then back to his tummy.  By doing this, he gets the blanket wrapped around him.  Really, he looks like a burrito!  He keeps his hands out, so he's still able to fling his pacifier back behind the crib to lands unknown.  I love watching the different ways he sleeps.  His hands have always been over his head, but sometimes the land on a crib slat or outside the crib.

There is just something so wonderful and peaceful about a sleeping baby.  The sweet way they breathe in and out, the fact that they're no longer crying.  It's just wonderful!  I could watch Jacob sleep all day long.  Except then he would either wake up or I would fall asleep.  And we all know babies don't sleep all day, ever! 

What is your favorite part of watching a baby sleep??

Still looking for guest writers!  Please let me know if you're interested!!

Ahhhh... all done!!!!!

Yesterday, my dear sweet husband graduated from WVU with his Ph.D.  Technically, it was a convocation because finals aren't over yet, but he's graduating no matter what!  So yesterday, we spent the afternoon watching young and old, men and women realize their dreams.  I was so very excited for him!! 

As we listened to the speaker, I found myself amused.  Maybe not the right word for a graduation, but nevertheless.  She spoke about how to get a job.  How you should change your email address to something professional, clean up your facebook, etc. etc.  I was hoping that for most of these people, this was not the first time they heard this!  But what struck me as intriguing was that she never talked about what you should do when you have a job.  So I feel like I need to give my own advice.  They should have hired me!! (Yeah, yeah, I know...)

My advice:

• Never let work come before family.  Although most people think, uh, duh, of course not, it's not as easy as it sounds.  So many companies want your full attention and time.  And they don't care if it's the weekend or if you're at an event for your child.
• If you stop working and stay at home with your child, you are completing the most important job anyone could give you.  Do not feel like you are less of a man/woman because of it.
• Always strive to do your best.  Don't just wing it.  They can tell when you wing it!
• Keep your singing to a minimum.  No one really likes to hear that.  Wait until you have a child who doesn't care how you sing...
• Enjoy every moment.  It's much harder than it sounds.  Much harder.  Even enjoy when you're frustrated, because you are growing as an individual.

See, I told you I should have been the speaker! Hahaha, I can only imagine how bored they would have been!  And in the end, all I could think about was 18 years from now and this little boy I have who will be accepting his diploma.  These next 18 years better go SLOW! 

What would you say to a graduating class??

My bad restaurant baby...

Last night I met a great friend (woot! Hi girl!) for dinner. I was so very excited, but quite nervous about my little bugaboo. You just never know how things are going to happen. So I debated between a high chair and his carseat. I ended up using his carseat. Well, that was a bad decision. He wanted to be up and looking at people. So, I tried sitting him up, holding him, etc. Well, he was mostly quiet, but he was fussing. Nothing pleased him. Except for trying to grab my food. And frankly, that didn't please me.

So I think we need to take a break from eating out. I think people are going to have to come to our house from now on. This makes me sad. I keep thinking if I keep trying or if I do something different, it will work. Maybe he's ready to sit in the highchair now and if we do that he'll be an angel through dinner. And then I laugh. Because if this child is anything like his mommy used to be, there is nothing that will make him an angel.

So when does that switch happen? When does my baby become big enough to warrant a real seat? He can't have real food yet, but he likes to look around. Yes, I did try giving him some of the sauce on my pasta. He enjoyed it, but it wasn't enough to keep him quiet. I know it's important for him to go out so that he gets used to that environment and how to behave. But maybe it's just too early. Maybe I need to wait a month or two until that switch has happened and I can figure out which is best for him. Maybe I need to just keep trying and stop getting all worked up when he makes noise. Because really, babies make noise.

Experienced mom's, I need your help!!!! What would you have done/did you do in this situation??

Are the hormones still there??

Jacob turned six months old on Monday. Seriously?!? I can't believe he is this old already!!! What happened?!? I keep looking back at his baby pictures and I want my little peanut back! But the one thing I really remember is being pregnant. I think that is what is stopping me from having any more children (right now, anyway!)!

The one experience I had was quite embarassing. I was mortified a few times. You see, some commercials made me cry. Especially ones with mothers and daughters. I'm not sure why, but I would cry at the same commercial approximately 20 times. One time, they even had me cry to get someone else to do something (Steve S., you still owe me!). They tell you this occurs because of the hormones. Ok, I can accept that.

I cannot accept what happened a few days ago. A sappy commercial came on (the one with the brother coming home and the sister puts a bow on him and says he's her gift this year), and I started crying. WHAT?!?!? There are no hormones left! How did this happen?!?!? Did God leave a little bit left just to make me feel ridiculous every so often?!? And then, horror of all horrors, Josh caught me. He looked over, gasped, and shook his head. I don't know if he knows what to do with me in these situations!!

Somehow, it seems that after having Jacob, everything and anything can make me cry. I don't know what happened to my hormones, but they are all out of whack! It must be something that just resides in you for the rest of your life! I guess that's the heart of a mother. So, next time you catch me crying at a commercial, don't say a word!!!

What crazy thing did you cry at before or after being pregnant??

Our first crib incident...

What a day! Jacob has been sleeping in his crib since he was 2 weeks old. Yesterday, he turned six months (Happy Birthday Baby Boy!!!). Today was the first incident while napping. Jacob woke up into his morning nap and I knew he was still tired (he was quite grumpy!). So I worked on getting him back to sleep. I entered quietly, stuck the pacifier back in, and left. About the third time I had done this, all the sudden Jacob started screaming bloody murder.

I'm not sure how he figured out the more he screams the faster I come, but he was louder than I ever heard him. So, I knew something was wrong. As I entered the room a bit frantically, it took me a moment to identify the issue. And then I saw it. I saw the leg, peeking through the crib slats. No, it wasn't stuck. He just got it to the point he couldn't bring it back in. I promise, there was no injury!

So I removed the leg from the crib slat. I didn't even take a picture first! And he kept screaming. The danger was over, but he was still upset. So I did what any kind, caring mother would. I gave him his pacifier and left again. Looking back, it may not have been the kindest thing to do. Maybe I should have picked him up and cuddled him. And if he hadn't fallen back to sleep in 2 minutes, I would have! I think my main thought is that I don't want him to realize that screaming bloody murder will bring me in. I only want him to use it when it's true!!

What was your first crib incident???

I love my snuggle bunny...

Today was my first lunch date from my bad heart post. Thanks Karen!!! I have a few more to go... but it was SO much fun!! And I loved loved loved catching up! So while we were there, Jacob got really sleepy. You could tell he was struggling to keep his eyes open. It was so sweet! But he just couldn't get himself to go to sleep.

There is one way he'll sleep. Put him in the car and start rolling. By the time we were home, he was OUT. I woke him up to get him out of his car seat, and then put him right into his crib. It was that bit of transition time that was my favorite. He cuddled his head right into my neck and started snoring again. I did put him pretty quickly into the crib, but that moment of holding him sweetly was enough to get me through some of his crying today.

What is it about a sleeping, cuddly baby that just makes everything about the world right? And it also makes me feel like the most important thing I can ever do is protect him from everything. It makes me want to keep him home and away from troubles and sadness forever! I never want him to feel pain or have his hopes dashed. Yes, I know this is unrealistic. But something about that cuddly little baby makes me want to make sure he never hurts.

What was your favorite cuddle moment??

We missed out on all the fun!!

Because of the sniffles yesterday, we didn't go to MOPS. I was so sad! I literally kept watching the clock and thinking about what they were doing at that exact moment. And then when I heard great comments, I was so sad that I had no idea what they were talking about! Talk about a bummer...

I guess this is to be expected when your child is sick. But when it used to be just me, I never had to miss an event. It didn't matter if I had the sniffles. I guess the reason I miss things now is that my friends are mommies. And I know what it's like to have a sick child for the last month, and that is the LAST thing I want them to experience! Although I'm sure it's a good thing I'm doing, I just want to be with my mommies!

So it's time to invent some germ catcher so I can still go to MOPS. Some sort of tent covering that allows him to breathe but also allows him to come to every event I want too. Could you imagine seeing my kid under a tent? That would be pretty amusing for everyone but him. Don't worry, I'd make it clear so he could see out of it.

I always thought that only daycare babies got sick. So, since I stay at home and have no other children, Jacob should not be sick. I expected him to get his first cold at 5. Obviously that may have been a bit unrealistic, but in my mind it was quite lovely! Unfortunately I guess God didn't agree... haha!

What favorite event did you have to miss when your child was sick??

The runny nose of death...

Maybe a bit dramatic. My dear baby has had a cold for about a month. It seems to come and go. He's had a fever, cough, can't breathe, etc. And then it will mostly clear up. A few days later, back it comes! It's nasty!!!! It seems to be something that is going around right now, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

The problem in our household is the runny nose. When I am congested, I love to clear my nasal airways so I can breathe again. My baby? He would rather have snot running down his face without any interference. The pediatrician told me no more nasal aspirator for a bit. I guess it's a little dry up there? So now we wait for the boogies to escape. Is this too detailed?? The problem is, no matter what way I choose to remove the snot/boogies, screaming ensues.

It's amazing how much an 18 lb (yep, he's a little chunker) can move and wriggle around just so he doesn't have to get nose cleaned. I don't even want to know what the neighbors think we're doing to him when we try to clean him out. My favorite thing? As soon as I have removed my torture device (aka kleenex), he is fine again. Laughing, giggling, smiling. He is such a stinker!!!

Does your child have this issue too?

I like my food HOT!

So there is a crazy phenomenon I've discovered between a husband and wife. In most cases, one person likes their food piping hot. The other wants it a tad colder. I discovered this approximately 3.5 years ago. The first time I pulled dinner out of the oven (yes, I do this on occasion), I tried to feed it to my husband quickly. His response?? "It's too hot" (usually said in a bit of a whiny voice). He then waits 10+ minutes and then will eat it.

I found out that this happens with other couples too. When we were at Thanksgiving, Josh's one cousin told her husband that the food was her husband's food-liking temperature. I guess I should be thankful. Because of this temperature issue, I can usually eat my food first while Josh watches Jacob, and then we switch while he eats his "cold" food. I can't tell you how much this boggles my mind, though! Really, who doesn't like their food super hot???

So for now, we eat about 10 minutes apart. And I continually yell at him that his food is getting cold. And he shrugs. Oh husband of mine. I guess in the end it's the bets of both worlds? We'll see what Jacob prefers when he grows older!!

Do you have this issue in your household??

My heart...

... is not in a good place. I didn't write yesterday because I'm just not feeling it. All I want to do is eat oreo's, coca-cola and bread and take a nap. I don't want to be around people and deal with things. I want to be by myself with my child and loving on him. Lots of loving on him!

I've decided that being a stay-at-home mom means that I can dwell on things longer than I normally would. When my heart isn't in the right place, I can stew and think about all the issues all day long. There's nothing to distract me. When I was working, I could become so engrossed in my work that I could temporarily forget about my heart and focus on something else for awhile.

The problem with my heart being in a bad place is that it's affecting everyone and everything around me. It would be so nice if my bad heart would just sit itself in a corner until it was happy again. But it affects my marriage and my relationship with my child. And how is my child supposed to learn to have a happy heart if his momma doesn't??

So, pray for my heart. Pray that it moves itself into a good place.

What have you done to change your bad heart to a good heart???

What is my purpose??

The last few months, one of my biggest struggles is figuring out what my purpose is. What is the purpose of my current season of life?? Obviously, part of it is taking care of Jacob. At least, I hope so, because that's what I'm doing most of the time!! But I keep wondering if there's something more that I'm missing. Am I supposed to be reaching out more than I am to other mom's? Am I supposed to be devoting my spare time to other things than watching The Closer??

I would think anyone would say that there are more important things than The Closer! HA. But what else is out there? What am I missing? Even when I was working, this weighed heavily on me. I feel like doctors and nurses have the purpose of saving lives every day. My husband's purpose is to educate students and prepare them for the real world. And although my purpose is important, it doesn't feel like it's enough.

Isn't that silly? Raising a child isn't "enough"? Shouldn't I know by now that the most important job anyone can ever have is to raise a child?? But there is something in me that tells me it's not important enough. Maybe it's because it will never land me on a television show, no one will ever give me a Pulitzer (let's be honest, I had to google that to spell it correctly), and I'll never be a CEO. Is this what I think real success is? Is real success being recognized by the world?? Because a mother is most usually not recognized by the above things. The only person who recognizes their work is the child themselves.

So, what is your purpose?? And Mom, THANK YOU for raising me!!!!!

Another play date!

I'm so excited! Tomorrow is a play date with some mommies from my home group. As long as Jacob is feeling better (cross your fingers and send us some good vibes & prayers!) we will be attending! I'm so looking forward to it I can't wait. And, it's at 10am, so that means I don't have to get up super early!! Yay!!

Does it matter that my child is almost 6 months and doesn't play?! Absolutely not! Someone said that play dates are more for mommy than for baby. And I totally agree! Some adult time and conversation is exactly what I need! Yes, there will still be crying and fussing, but it won't just be me vs. baby. It'll be me and some other mommies vs. a few kids. And where there are numbers, there is POWER! Heehee...

I won't have to clean, or pick up toys either. I'll get to sit and chat. I'll get a mental break! You won't find me singing the ABC's or picking lint out of toes either. Because that would just be weird in public! Yes, I'll still have to bring blankies and binkies and little animals that sing. But for a few minutes tomorrow, I'll get to talk to people who can talk back. And I am EXCITED about that!!

What is your favorite part of play dates???

I like to read...

I didn't post yesterday because I was engrossed in a book. That's right, my nerdiness level just jumped about 20 points. And that's not in the good direction! I would have to say my one and only hobby is reading. And I really, really like to read. So, when my mother gave me six books for my reading enjoyment, I knew it would be dangerous.

You see, I am a skimming reader. I try to skip over the descriptions (who really cares about what the flower looked like... ya know?) and get to the important stuff. Sometimes I miss an important point, so I have to review. But, for the most part, I don't miss anything important. So, because of this, I can read a 300 page book in a day.

Here's the issue. Now that I have a child, I can't block out the entire world and spend a day wrapped in an afghan drinking hot chocolate in my own little world. Now I have to actually put the book down and take care of Jacob when he wakes up. This is very hard!! I get so engrossed in the book that the characters become real. And a crying child is usually not in my books.

So the moral is I'm not sure if this is a hobby I have to give up, if I can only partake when Josh is home, or if I need to learn to detach better from the imaginary characters. Just because they're not real doesn't mean I shouldn't be involved in their lives!!!

Did you have to give up or modify a hobby once your little one was born???

Talking talking talking...

I think it's safe to say that Jacob will be a verbal person like his mommy. Daddy's just a tad bit quieter than mommy. Hahaha, ok a lot quieter than mommy! But our little boy? He LOVES to talk. I have to admit it's pretty darn cute. Well, as long as it's not in the morning.

You see, he started this new little habit. When he wakes up, we bring him into our bed for a little bit more sleep time and a slower start to our day. Well, that was the idea anyway. Now, he has decided that he would like to talk instead. So, while Josh and I have our eyes closed and try to fall back asleep, our little bumpkin is "telling" us all about his night.

But it truly doesn't stop there. Throughout the day he'll all of the sudden start yelling. I can't figure out what causes it or where it starts, but he loves to tell me things. He'll put his hands on my face and talk away. And that is not Josh. That is me. HA!

Who does your child(ren) take after??

Laundry, how I hate you...

Yesterday, I did two loads of laundry. Today, I did one. And I hate it. HATE LAUNDRY. I don't mind washing it or drying it. It's the folding that gets me. Yes, it's nice to have that ugly pile into a neat little stack, but getting there is atrocious.

Somewhere between pulling the laundry out of the dryer and getting it to the floor (or bed, or wherever), I lose a sock or two. Clothes fall on the ground. And then they're not clean anymore. But I am NOT going to wash them again! So then to the folding area they go.

When we first got married, Josh showed me how he liked his shirts folded. Well, for three year I did it that way. Somewhere around having Jacob, I decided it would no longer be that way. Now they are folded the way I want them folded. And I still find them a pain!

If someone could PLEASE invent a folder I would love you forever. You would be my best friend and I would give you kisses. Lots and lots of kisses. And some hugs too.

What is your least favorite part of laundry??

Quid Pro Quo...

According to Wikipedia, "Quid pro quo (From the Latin meaning "What for what?") indicates a more-or-less equal exchange or substitution of goods or services."

For example, when I let my husband sleep in yesterday morning, I want to sleep in this morning. An equal exchange. I think this is something that should be required. If I wash bottles one evening, the next evening it should be his turn. If I change a poopy diaper, the next poopy diaper is his.

For some reason, he does not understand this concept. I think I need to read him the definition again. Maybe because I'm home all day and he works?? Just because I have a show line-up and still haven't written my five thank-yous from September means nothing (I swear I'm getting them to you!!!). Nothing, I say.

So, yes, I was a grumpy monster this morning when I realized I would not be able to sleep in. My mother can attest to this fact, as can Jacob. But I got over it. Maybe that's the mom thing... even when you don't have quid pro quo, you can still survive and get through the day.

Maybe I'll get to sleep in tomorrow... or, eighteen years from now.

What was one thing you did that you wished for an equal exchange???

Bruises everywhere...

Honestly, I'm afraid people are going to think Josh is hitting me. If you know Josh, you KNOW that's not true!!!! I could beat him up any day of the week :-D. So, anyway, back to the bruises. Yesterday, I found a black and blue mark on my arm. I cannot for the life of me remember where or when I got this bruise. Ugggh.

So it takes me back to my pregnancy days. For most of my life, I have been a klutz. And it never got better. In fact, it got worse. While pregnant, I would run into doors, walls, whatever was in front of me. Don't worry, I apologized to Jacob! I think I just didn't know how big I was. At least, that makes me feel better about things.

But now, I still run into things. And Jacob isn't in my belly. So, what gives???? Did I lose my depth perception? Just yesterday I almost fell trying to open the blinds. Yes, you read it right. Opening the blinds. Seriously, how can one almost fall doing that?!?!? I just keep hoping somehow I get my balance back and lose this klutziness!!!!

What thing did you run into lately??

I am the formula queen...

So Jacob is on a new formula as of his last doctor's appointment. We put him on a soy formula to help with his reflux. He's doing SO much better with it! It smells nasty though... but, hey, it works! So in order for him to eat, I need to have this formula. Obvious, right? Yep!

So first I went to Kroger (where we normally shop). Did they have it? No. I figured of COURSE Walmart would have some! I stopped by, ONE CAN. One measly can! How am I supposed to feed my kid with one can?!?!? Ok, it'll last for a week or so, but I need more than that.

So I went to Target. I bought EIGHT cans of formula. These are not the sample cans. They are the HUGE cans. Did you see that? EIGHT. I cleaned off their shelf. There is none left after I exited the store.

I think there's some internal crazy mom that comes out when I need to feed my child. I've threatened people in the road who are going to slow if it's time for Jacob to eat and they are in my way. I'm ready to TACKLE them. Yes, tackle. So, of course, I would need eight cans. Because obviously two wouldn't do it.

What crazy feeding-your-child mom thing have you done?!?

Itchy itchy itchy!!!

I have a problem. I'm itchy. I've been itchy before, but not like this. It started around the third trimester of my pregnancy. Everywhere. No matter what I did, I itched. Now, it's not like PUPPPS (is that right? anyway, I hear that is HORRIBLE). But it's itching, nonetheless! So it was one of those things I expected to end with pregnancy.

And then it continued. The worst? My armpits would itch when I was breastfeeding. Do you know how hard it is to itch when you're breastfeeding?? If you don't, let me sum it up for you. IT'S HARD. Ha! So as I was reading up to find out if I have issues, I found out that when you breastfeed, there is a gland that sweats that makes your armpit itches. Interesting, eh??

Here's my problem. I stopped breastfeeding. And my armpits? They're still itchy. This is an issue in public. At home, I can itch and itch and itch. In public? I look like a monkey. I've tried creams, moisturizers, body oils... nothing helps. It just itches, and itches and itches! So if you see me in public itching, no laughing, ok?

Do any of you have this issue?? If you do/did, what helped???

A sick household...

Yep, we're sick. All of us. It didn't start that way though. First, the baby got sick. Then daddy. Now mommy. This makes me unhappy. In my past life, I could take a sick day. I could lay on the sofa all day, sipping my hot tea (or whatever would make me feel better), sleep all day, and drug myself. Now? Hahahaha. Like I could do any of that!

So, now, with a sore throat, throbbing head, and stuffy nose, I get to still get up 3 times in the middle of the night and drink my hot tea when Jacob is napping. This mothering thing is not so nice sometimes! Where is my sick day?!?! These are the days I wish I could ship Jacob to daycare. Sorry baby, momma isn't feeling well. Someone else is going to take care of you until I feel better. LOL.

At least I have my husband's promise that as soon as he's feeling better, he'll let me sleep for a night. So, here's to praying and hoping he gets better SOON! Heehee.

What is your least favorite part of being sick or attending a sick one??

Seasoned Moms!!!!

This is a call-out for my seasoned mommies. I have had so many people tell me they read my blog, but that they don't post any comments. Sure, that's ok. But, do you realize, WE NEED YOU?!?! You, my friend, have been through this. You know what to do. Sure, your youngest may be writing this blog, or you may only have one child at home, but it's time you give us young-un's advice!

I was having a conversation with my dear aunt, where she has determined she is not cool enough to be posting comments. Wait a minute!!!!! You've had three children who all have turned out remarkably well (right??) and I need your advice! And, mother, you need to be giving advice too! How are we young ones supposed to do this if we don't see the end result? If we don't know that others have survived and lived to tell about it?!?

So, since I ask advice from my mother on a daily basis, I want advice from every momma, old and young! New or experienced! And if I don't get it, I'm coming to find you. I promise! And then I'm giving you my child for a night and taking a nap....

Do you promise to comment??

My child is bipolar...

Let's start with this post probably isn't going where you think it will.

With that said, my child has two personalities. He has a certain personality with his mother, and one with everyone else. And the one with everyone else is MUCH different than the one with me! My child loves to scream with me. He will very loudly tell me when he wants to nap or when he wants to be awake. He tells me when he wants to eat and when he wants to play.

But then, when he gets with grandma, his aunt, babysitters, nursery workers, it's like another child has formed! He is sweet, and giggles and is just the happiest little boy. What is this phenomenon? Does this happen with every child??? I guess it's a good thing that he likes other people, but what about his mommy?? I guess I can think of it that he trusts me enough to be himself. HA. As long as I get the happy parts along with the crying parts, I think I can handle it!

Does your child have a different personality around different people???

Party Time!!!!!

Today, my nephew is one. ONE! Can you believe it?? I can't!! It definitely takes me back to November 5, 2009. I'm sure it takes my sister-in-law back too in a different way!! HA. But I remember getting the phone call that she was going in for delivery, and then my brother called when he was born. There was just such a joy knowing that my first nephew was born and I was going to get to love on this little boy like none other!

And now, a year! Mad props to my sister-in-law and brother for surviving it! HA. It definitely makes me realize that I can do it too! At least, I hope so. I mean, really, is there an alternative?? I think not! But watching them go through all of these ups and downs shows me that I can do it too. Honestly, my sister-in-law and brother have become my role models (along with our parents)! Whether or not they like it! I totally look up to how they are raising Shane with consistency and love. And I want to be like that too!

Now granted, our children will not turn out like clones, but if Jacob is as sweet and kind as Shane is at one, I will count my blessings! But for now, I'm going to party. Because, who doesn't like watching a little boy eat cake and his first ice cream?!? I know I do!!!

Who do you look up to in parenting??

Grumpy Gills...

A very good friend in college's actions 4 years ago always makes me laugh when I hear this phrase. Totally defeats the purpose!! (Kathryn and your pretend gills...)

Anyway, I'm a bit of a grump today. I think it's the nasty outside weather. I think that it's because I was up at 2am (unstuck arm from crib slot), 4am (feeding) and 6:30am (food for MOPS!). Boooooo. Although MOPS was pretty stinkin' awesome. As always! If you have one near you, get your tushie to it!!

So the topic of MOPS today was dealing with hard issues. We discussed some awesome things, like potty training, dealing with toddler questions, separation anxiety and sleeping through the night. Obviously, the last one is my issue! So many women supported Babywise (which is what we've been attempting to do) which shocked me! Definitely the quiet force... And yet, their babies sleep and mine really doesn't (yes, 7 hours straight is awesome! But I want 12!!!!!). So as I kept talking to other moms, I realized the issue was that I haven't let Jacob cry-it-out.

Now, crying it out is not as horrible as it sounds. If I let him "cry it out", it would be in small intervals where I calmed him every so often. But I can't even seem to do this. At 4am, I don't want to calm him every five minutes. I want to SLEEP. In my mind I realize that if I do this for a few days straight, I could have 12 hours of sleep for months. Yet it just doesn't seem like I should do it. Sigh.

So this is why I'm grumpy. I can't figure out what to do. It's like Paul talks about in Acts how you know the good you ought to do but don't do it. I know what will be best in the long run, but can't handle the short run. And most of me thinks I should just be happy with 7 hours. Ugh.

I need advice. What would you do???

I have a...

Muffin top. This blog is supposed to be about honesty. And frankly, I can't get anymore honest than this. Now, you skinny no-baby ladies, hush up. And stop making that face. One day, this will be you... and you will think back on this post and realize the truth I am speaking.

Yes, I used to fit into my pants. If I had a bit of a muffin top, I knew it was time to change jean sizes. But it's different now. I'm not upgrading my jean size. My pants fit everywhere except for the belly area. And I will NOT be upping jean sizes. If I do, I might eat myself into oblivion. So I will have the muffin top. And I will not be proud.

But there are ways to help out the situation!

1. Spanx. God's gift to women.
2. Baggy shirts. Although this is a dead giveaway that there's some muffin topping underneath.
3. Sweatpants. This cures the muffin top.

Which one will I choose??? I'm not telling!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which would you choose??? (Don't worry, I know you don't have a muffin top!!)

I love me some errands!

Well, last night, I didn't sleep. Jacob was up at 2am... oh well. Once a night isn't too bad!! But mommy was very excited because daddy has the day off!! Yay for voting!! I was pretty stoked to have some help for the day and someone else to love on sweet Jacob all day!

So we decided to take a trip and get some errands done. We visited daddy's office, went to AutoZone and Target. And you know what, I had a blast!! I was chatting with my sister-in-law at AutoZone. She didn't want to interrupt, but I was a-ok since what woman enjoys AutoZone?!?! And we were commenting how even though that's not a place we enjoy, we enjoy being out of the house! Oh how true that is!! To be in the sunshine, and not looking at my four walls, it was just great.

I never thought I would love errands so much. I even love grocery shopping! Except the sweating that occurs when dragging the groceries in... hahaha. There's just something so therapeutic with the outside world! And being in nature... mmmmm!! Ok, now I want to go back outside again!!

What is your favorite errand to run and why?!

Last Night, I slept....

Mmmmm. Gloriousness. I slept for 7 hours STRAIGHT. Did you get that?? 7 HOURS STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it! I could have slept longer (Jacob actually slept 10 hours straight) but I had to go potty. This was the first time in 13 months that I have actually slept a full night. Wowee!! And the funny part? I don't feel that much more rested!!

I feel like finally our day has come. Finally we will sleep in this house! Except that Jacob was so exhausted last night he screamed instead of eating. So I'm pretty sure we'll get 2 hours of sleep tonight. Ha. It always seems like the day I feel we've turned the corner is the day that everything falls apart. I wonder when I will realize that this sleep thing is not under my control!

When Jacob stopped sleeping around 3.5 months, I tried everything. Shorter naps, longer naps, more wake time, less wake time, solids, no solids, earlier bed time, later bed time. NOTHING worked! I think it's finally beginning to sink in that no matter what schedule I put him on or what outside controls I try to use, he will still do what he wants. Let's just hope he wants to sleep!!!

Do you remember the first night your little one slept through the night?? What was your reaction??

Getting stared down...

Lately, Jacob has been staring at me. Usually, only when I have food. I think he wants some. HA. This morning, as I was eating my breakfast (which only my mother will know what I had... keep it a secret, mom!), Jacob started lunging for it. Really?!?! I eventually had to move it out of his line of sight to make him stop. What happened to my baby?!?

We started oatmeal today (of course, with our ped's permission). He's been on rice cereal for reflux for awhile, but when I tried to spoon-feed him with it yesterday, he wouldn't take any. So, today, we tried oatmeal! It actually went pretty well! It just seems that Jacob is growing up way too fast. He's no longer willing to lay on the floor for hours, he wants to sit or stand up. He's very vocal about how he feels, and he loves to giggle and smile.

I know I wrote in another post about being content with where they are right now. And how I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to go back to the baby stage. Now? I miss my baby!! I guess this is why people have more than one?? No promises, Grandma!!

At what point did you realize that your little boy/girl was not so little anymore???

My Child is clingy...

Before, I could put Jacob on the ground and pretty much walk away. Do whatever I wanted. Look down at the floor every once in awhile to make sure he was alive. I could walk into a different room and check email, change bed sheets, etc. And, no worries! I knew he would stay put and for the most part be happy. It was a happy existence. Except the no sleep part...

Now? OH MY GOODNESS. If I put him on the floor he starts screaming. Now, it's only at nighttime right now. Or he's happy on the floor for approximately 3.5 minutes. And then he screams. It's almost like I've abandoned him... which, obviously, I haven't! Goodness kid, I'm like 10 feet away!!!!!!!!! I've tried reasoning with him. This goes really well with a 5 month old (sarcasm). I get down by his face and tell him I'm right here. And he screams. Uggggh.

So, I've resorted to picking him up. He screams, I pick him up. Can anyone say creating a bad habit?? I sure can! I think I noticed it yesterday. He screamed quickly, looked up to me to see if I was going to come get him. When I didn't, he screamed more. Some may say that he's still little and is trying to tell me he needs something... but all he wants is to be held. I love cuddling, but I also love getting things done. This is driving me NUTS!

Has this happened to any of you?? If yes, HOW DID YOU FIX IT?!?!?!

Full Moon = Crazy Baby??

If you've been pregnant, you know that a full moon *may* cause labor (I think it's an old myth but it seems to actually happen)! I'd like to start a new myth. I think a full moon causes a crazy baby!! Example 1 - Jacob. He was a fuss bucket yesterday! Example 2 - My nephew. He was screaming his head off for no reason yesterday. Example 3 - Everyone else's babies who didn't sleep last night.

Ok, I may be stretching this a bit. But really, it seems like there is something in the universe making babies crazy! The one good thing is it's over already. I have my sweet, sleeping, happy baby back. YES. I'm ecstatic! And those with fussy babies 24-7?? You are totally my hero's! Yesterday was a day I hope to forget very soon!!

Was your baby fussy yesterday?? What was the worst thing he/she did???

I HATE SHOTS!!

Ugh. This has been a very bad day in the Ridley household. As you can see, this blog is a bit late. That is because I have a clingy, feverish baby on my hands who won't nap! He's been running a fever since last night and we've been working the tylenol. But just when I thought the fever was over (this afternoon), it came back full force tonight. FRUSTRATION!! Why do they do this to us parents?!?!?!?!

Really, isn't there a better way to take care of these shots?? And, can't they figure out how to give them and protect them without making them grumpy and angry?!?! You should have seen the color of Jacob's face! It seriously was purple...

So we went back to the doctor today because this morning it was really, really high (101.8)... and they said it's normal. UGH. If it doesn't go away in 48 hours I have to call back. Since it's still around, we'll see if it goes away tomorrow. Blah blah blah. And the worst part?? I can't make it better. I can hold, cuddle, rock, etc. but I can't take away his pain. Oh I wish I could!!!!!!!!

What is your least favorite part of shots?!?!

Cooking everywhere!!

Lately, I've had this bug. It's this odd craving to cook. Yes, if you know me, that is a VERY odd craving! I made a roast on Friday, meatballs on Saturday, muffins, cookies, filling... what is wrong with me?! Really, what is it?! I never, ever cooked like this. Maybe it's now that I'm a mom I feel like I need to do this. That it's my requirement as a mother. Even though Jacob doesn't eat, and the one who does has been around for 3 1/2 years! Ha...

So today, I got an email about a recipe exchange. And I have to admit, I kind of took it with a grain of salt. I've tried to do this before, and I got ONE response. ONE. Seriously?! That thing says I should get 36 responses!!!!!!!! Apparently I am doing something terribly wrong! And then I think about all of the cookbooks I've never touched on my shelf. Do I really need 36 more recipes that I'll never make???

What is it that makes us want recipes even if we'll never use them?? Granted, I've used one or two that was recommended. But, for the most part, I make what I've eaten and enjoyed. My recommendation?? Instead of sending emails for recipes, let's send meals. That way, I'll know whether or not I want you recipe. Ok? Ok.

What is your favorite thing to eat?? Let me know if you need my address... :-D

Daddy needs a pacifier....??

Let me start this post out saying that I dearly, dearly love my husband, and he is the best daddy ever!!! Now, with that being said, sometimes, he just says and does the craziest things. As I was lamenting with a dear friend, she said that she wishes sometimes there was a pacifier for her husband. HA. I'm leaving her nameless so she doesn't get in trouble... heehee.

I have to say I totally agree. Although he is very good at coming home and pitching in, I want to give him a pacifier those times that he complains about changing one diaper every other day. Or when he whines about the puking, after I've been covered in puke all day. Sometimes I want to take that pacifier I use for Jacob, and plug it right into his mouth!! It makes me wonder how many times he wants to do the same thing to me!!

Having a child really does change the dynamic of your marriage. I didn't need a break before, and no one would have complained about changing a diaper a year ago, because there was no diaper to change! His one comment that always gets me riled up (and he knows it does, so he says it!) is "I need a break" after playing with Jacob for a half hour. My response?? SERIOUSLY?!?! And then he laughs. Silly man...

What does your significant other do that makes you want to give him/her a pacifier???

My home is no longer my sanctuary...

A lot of you may be wondering what exactly I mean. Do you remember how every day you ache to get home to the comfort of your house, slip on your comfy clothes, and hang out on the couch?? Your home becomes your getaway from the world place. Work and its problems for the most part won't fall you home. You can leave them at the doorstep.

Unless you're a stay-at-home mom. Then, your problems are IN the house. It's absolutely fabulous to stay-at-home and have the ability to wear my sweats all day. But, you see, I can't leave my problems. My problem is 4.5 months old and he follows me everywhere I go. If he's cranky, I can't just walk out the door and tell him I'll see him tomorrow. If he's cranky, I'm stuck with him. Some days I may want to hide in my room and shut the door, but I can't. Because if I do, he'll just scream louder!

Now, I hope this doesn't sound ungrateful. I am SO grateful that I can stay home with my little munchkin as he grows right now. But I very much miss the ability to come home to escape the world. To know that no problem can follow me into my house unless I choose to let it.

So what part of your sanctuary do you miss the most??

Oh the warmth & coziness!!

As I was talking to a fellow mom yesterday (Hi Steph!), we were lamenting probably one of the worst parts of motherhood. Getting out of bed at night. Now, if you actually have a child that sleeps, this will not be a concept you understand. And I will be bitter about that for a bit. Maybe I'll let it go.... HA!

When that little cry (or not so little) escapes and wakes you out of a dead sleep, after you cry to yourself a bit, you get out of bed and stumble across to their room. And at that moment, you miss that warm and cozy bed you just got out of. Your heart cries out to be back in there, drooling on your pillow, and dreaming of odd things.

I think the worst part is when you actually get back into bed. Yes, of course, you're happy to be there! But, it's cold. It's really, really cold. And it's going to take awhile to get back up to that cozy temperature. So, for a good 5 minutes, you sit there and shiver. And hope, against all hopes, that that was it for the night. That you won't have to do this again until the morning!

Have you had this experience?? What's the worst part to you of waking up in the middle of the night???

I don't wanna play!

Today, I don't want to play. I want to curl up in a ball with a good book in front of a fireplace and sip on some cappuccino. Mmmmm. I could seriously get lost in this little dream of a day!!! Some quietness, a little light music in the background. Yes please!

Unfortunately, I don't get to do that anymore. And neither do you, momma. I guess I should feel better that there's other people out there getting showers in 10 minutes and going potty while the little one is screaming. But someone how, it just doesn't!

I want a day off. I want a day without any crying, without any spit-up. I want a day to myself. A day to do all the things I want too. To enjoy a quiet, calm household. I only have approximately 18 years. And that's if we don't have another kid. Oh boy.

What would you do if you had a day to yourself???

How to "call" your child...

On Saturday, my dear friends Robin & Jason stopped by. Old Navy has an AWESOME sale right now where you get a free child's item for every adult item you buy. And since they don't yet have children (although I'm hoping they will SOON!), they got things for Jacob. How awesome are they!!! (Answer: REALLY awesome!)

As they were hanging out with us, I started "calling" Jacob to get him to look at me. You know what I mean, right?? Almost like you call a dog. Which, since Robin & Jason have a dog, they understand. In fact, they told me it's ok to do that. But it's more like I'm calling a horse than a dog. So then I tried to make the parallel between a child and a horse. It was a shining moment for me as a mom.

Isn't it intriguing how we "call" our children when they're babes? We know they'll look when they hear noises, so we make the most amazing and loud noises we possibly can! And I do it quite often. Sometimes I'm afraid the neighbors are going to mistake my child for an animal. At least I think that until he starts screaming. Then I'm pretty sure they know it's a baby.

So how do you "call" your child???

Love being flexible!

My favorite part of being a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) is my ability to go do things I would have not been able to do while working. For instance, today I went to watch my cousin try on wedding dresses. It was SO much fun!!! I think I had more fun than she did... HA! It makes me think that I may need a life, but most of me feels like it was such an exciting moment and I was so glad to be a part of it!!

It made me think about how many things I can now attend or go to since I'm not trapped in an office for 9+ hours a day! Now I can enjoy MOPS, going out to eat with friends, play dates, and many, many more! Although it also means I have time to do the shopping and cleaning during the day... not so fun. Boo.

Sometimes I start to get a bit bored and think about finding a part-time job. But, if I had any type of job (besides being a mommy), I couldn't be as flexible! I think, for now, I'm just going to be a mommy. That job is hard enough! And it also lets me have lots of fun...

What is your favorite part of staying at home?? Or, if you're a working momma, what is your favorite part of working??

I hate the middle of the night!

So last night was not a good night in our home. Jacob was up twice between 8pm and 8am. UGGGH. And I began to realize something. When he doesn't sleep well during the day, I'm a little upset, but it's not a big deal. In the middle of the night?? Oh snap. You did NOT get up in the middle of the night!

I guess it's been the last two days that I've woken up at 1am and 3am because of a non-sleeping child, and I grumble. I say out loud, "You are NOT supposed to be up!" Now granted, he really isn't. But I get MAD. Don't worry, by the time I get to him it goes away. I just HATE to get out of bed!! Sometimes I lay there and hope Josh will get up - HA.

I think some of it is the stumbling across the hallway to get to him, knowing that I'll probably run into a wall. Or having to make him a bottle and forgetting how many scoops went in. The problem is the minute I pick him up and those sleepy little eyes find me and he smiles. Honestly, I look away so I don't laugh or smile back (it's nighttime, ya know?). Don't worry, I'll always hate to get out of my warm, cozy bed but that little baby's smile makes it less bad.

What part of the day do you HATE?!

Playing is fun!!

Today was a play date with two lovely women in my homegroup and their babes! Oh what fun! After they realized I should never plan a play date again (a park at 50 degrees and wet is not a good idea...), we had an awesome time at the Burger King play area! I have to admit, I LOVE play areas. I think I love them more than kids.

Honestly, part of me thinks I had a child so I can go in ball pits and go on slides again. Seriously, it is THAT much fun! So when the one child wanted to go on the slide, I easily volunteered to go with her. Oh my goodness, I want to be a kid again! Why do we not have a ball pit for adults?? Or a jungle gym for adults?? I guess it might be weird...

So, as I am up near the helicopter, a manager walks in with one of his employees. I almost died. I hid behind the little girl and wanted for him to disappear. When he did, I yelled down, "Did we get in trouble?" Is there something about a kids area that makes me feel like I'm in trouble again??? I am a mom now! I should not be afraid of a Burger King manager!!!!

If you need a chuckle today, just picture me hiding in the play area from a Burger King manager.

Are there times you feel like you're going to get yelled at, even though you're not a kid anymore???

I need to get out of my sweatpants...

I think this is a common theme, the sweatpants. When you think of a stay-at-home mom, you think of sweatpants. It's just the territory! Also, because about every 2 hours you have some small child puking on you. So why bother with the pretty clothes?? Why bother putting on jeans or dress pants?? I feel like I can say that when Jacob goes to school, I'll be wearing real pants by then. But, if I'm not willing to wear them now, will I be willing to wear them then??

So what do I do? I really don't want to make some sort of commitment where I'll actually get out of my sweats for a week. But I feel so much better when I look presentable. Maybe I need to buy a pair of jeans for every day of the week, so I don't care if they get thrown up on. Right now, I am in sweats and a t-shirt that now have crusted on throw-up. Who wants to come over and hang out with me?!?!?!

My favorite comment when I lament about these things is that when he's older it will be different. But if I don't change the habits now, will I ever change them later??

So, be honest, are you reading this in your sweats??

I quit breastfeeding...

About two weeks ago, I quit breastfeeding. I would have confessed earlier, if I had told my superstar sister-in-law! I withheld from her because she is amazing. My nephew will be one on November 5th (woot!) and she is still going strong!!!! I like to call her super woman :-)

It's funny, when you tell people you're done, most will ask why. I guess that's a normal reaction?? There wasn't one specific reason I stopped, but a whole bunch that when I put them together I decided it was time. My supply was going down, he wasn't eating nicely, he was gassy no matter what I cut out and he wasn't sleeping at night. So, I stopped. And honestly, I think I'm a better mother because of it. I'm happier, I'm lighter (ha ha ha), I don't have to wear nursing bras, I can feed him comfortably in public, and many other reasons! And I don't miss breastfeeding one bit.

I'm on a board for other moms with June babies and it's amazing what they say to each other as well as what strangers will say to them about formula feeding vs. breastfeeding. Now that I've been on both sides, I'd say they both have their negatives and positives. I just don't understand why people feel the need to look down on others that formula feed OR breastfeed. Either way, the child is being fed!! So, if you see a mom formula feeding, tell her good job. Or, if you see a mother breastfeeding, tell her you're proud of her. Either way, we are being good mommies!!!

Did anyone ever say anything to you about formula feeding or breastfeeding??? And, when did you stop breastfeeding??

Child personalities...

So at MOPS yesterday, we talked about our personalities. And one question that came up was how your personality affected the relationship you have with your child and their personality. It got me thinking about Jacob's personality, even though he can't talk yet!! Will he take after me, his dad or will he be a combination of both of us???

Already I see parts of both of us! When he stubbornly says he will not go to sleep, that is definitely his mom. And then, when he takes his time rolling over and thinking it through, that is definitely his dad. When his bottle won't come fast enough, definitely his mom! And when sports are on and Jacob can't tear his eyes away, that is definitely his daddy!

So as I see this little baby growing into a little boy, I constantly wonder what traits and what personality he'll have. Truthfully, I hope he has more of his father's persona than mine!! But either way, I cannot wait to see the personality he has as he grows. Like every parent, I hope he is loving and kind but has the ability to stick up for himself and be independent. Well, here we go!

Does your child have your personality, your significant others, or a mix??

And the little one said, "Roll over!"...

For many days, Jacob has been close to rolling over. He would go to his side and contort his entire body, but he just could not get the whole way over! He would try over, and over, and over again. No success. We'd put him near the TV so he'd strain to watch it. Day after day we "practiced" since he wanted to be on his belly anyway!

And then, on Tuesday, he did it! His little hands clasped, and his head picked up off the blanket, and over he went!! I was so excited that I scared him by cheering so loudly. The ped was talking about how neat it is when it's your child reaching the milestone, and I so understood it at that moment. Seeing my child accomplish this milestone was amazing. I was so proud!! Especially after thinking he would never, ever do it!

Sometimes, I think God looks at us the same way. And today, that's something I need to remember. He wants us to accomplish milestones and He cheers so loudly when we do it. He is constantly watching and encouraging us to do that thing we never thought we could... stepping out of our comfort zones into something that stretches us just a bit more than we want to.

So what is your milestone you're reaching???

Doing For You

(Yay Guest Posts!!! This comes from a dear friend from college, who is experiencing this fun right alongside of me as her son is only a few weeks younger than Jacob... Thanks for the guest post Steph!!!!!)

It is amazing how quickly and completely your life changes once your little one arrives. Your life becomes about someone other than yourself. You spend your days meeting the physical and emotional needs of someone who cannot help themselves. Your daily goals are showering and brushing your teeth before lunch. Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but I also realized that it is important to remember myself.

This realization came about two months after Bryan was born as I was talking with a co-worker who asked the normal new baby questions-how is he sleeping, eating etc. Then she asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks, “What are you doing for yourself?” My first instinct was to reply, “Oh lots of stuff”, but then that wasn’t true. My brain went into panic mode trying to come up with something that I was doing for myself. Showering every day? Taking naps? Those didn’t count, they are just a part of daily survival. Surely there was something that I was doing for just me…wasn’t there?

Later that night, haunted by this question I took a good look at my life and realized that since my little one arrived my life had become about him and those “something for me” moments had faded into oblivion. It was after this realization that I decided to take action. I was going to do something for me, but what? Every time I came up with an idea, I came up with an excuse for why it wasn’t going to work. Too much money…not enough time…I’d rather sleep…

After some encouragement (and a giant nudge from my loving husband) I finally decided that I was going to start a sewing project. So I went to the store, bought the fabric and began work. The experience was liberating! I didn’t feel guilty or selfish like I thought I would, instead I felt re-energized. I was doing something that I wanted to do and that was just for me.

It is important to remember that just because we become mothers, doesn’t mean we have to stop doing things for ourselves. Sure, it is much harder to find the time, the energy and the motivation, but it is not impossible. It has been about a month since my epiphany and my sewing project is no closer to completion, but it is nice to know that it’s there for those times when I need a “something for me” moment.

So, I ask you, in the hopes that, unlike me, you have an answer “What are you doing for yourself?”

Linea nigra aka my belly looks weird...

For those of you not yet blessed with being pregnant, linea nigra (latin for black line - how nice to dress it up fancy) is a dark line that goes from underneath your boobs to your pelvic region. Wikepedia has pictures too... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linea_nigra

You develop this lovely line throughout your pregnancy, and the closer you are to "popping", the darker the line gets. For some reason, I decided that the line would completely disappear as soon as I gave birth. Jacob would come out, the line would go away, everything would be perfect. Right?? Wrong. Very wrong.

In fact, that stupid little line is still there. Do you know what I heard?? It can last up to a YEAR. And for some people, it NEVER goes away. Are you kidding me?!?!?!?! Some people said they could rub it off. Yes, we are all desperate to get this line gone. Did I try it? You better believe it!! And it didn't work. Ugh.

I think I'm destined to have linea nigra for the rest of my life.

Do you still have your linea nigra? If not, when did it go away???

Your hair is everywhere...

Dashboard Confessional anyone?? Yes?? Yes??

I keep singing this song every morning/afternoon/evening as I find hairs in my child's hands, on blankets, and by the sink. It is seriously disgusting! And yes, I do vacuum and clean!! I have to admit, I'm secretly thrilled that my hair is falling out. Thrilled! Why??

When you become pregnant, some hormone makes your hair stop falling out, becomes more voluminous (is that a word?), and thicker. Really, I do not need it. Honestly! I kept hoping maybe I would be an exception, but the hair stopped falling out. It wasn't by the sink, on the floor, etc. It was crazy!!

And then, about a week and a half ago, it started falling out. Some people say it falls out in clumps. Mine hasn't done that yet, but it's definitely coming out!! It's all over the shower floor every day. And I'm thrilled!! My husband is not so thrilled.

Were you excited about your hair falling out or saddened??

What happened to me??

When I used to go out with people, the range of topics would be great. My job, my husband, chores, activities, funny stories, etc. Last night, I went out with some awesome mom's from MOPS. And do you know what my conversation was about???? Yep, you mom's know!! It was about Jacob. All of it! His poop, his eating habits, pregnancy issues... I guess you could say that is what we had in common... but really??

What happened to the interesting me?? The one with entertaining activities and lots of stories? It makes me mourn what has happened, although honestly I think it's an ok change. I swore I wouldn't be the frumpy mom in her sweats in the grocery store. I broke that one awhile ago! At least I still try to dry and style my hair most days! I don't know what I'll do if I have another one though!

So what is this miracle that happens as soon as we give birth?? And stay-at-home? Do we ever get back that fun, sexy, stylish person we used to be??

What part of the "old you" do you miss???

When do I get to sleep????

Last night was bad. Super, super bad. Jacob was up every two to three hours. I'm at the point of no return!! I have absolutely no idea why he won't sleep. Gas? Teething? Hungry? I feel like I tried every single thing and he WOULDN'T SLEEP! Argh. I'm pretty sure I was going to lose my mind. Blah. Maybe I did lose it??

So this is probably the only point of motherhood that I absolutely hate. I hate going to bed having no clue when I'll be getting up again. No idea how many times I'll be getting up or what will happen. Ugh!! And in the middle of the night, I am so very sleepy that I'm lucky if I make it to his room without running into doors!!

There's something about sleep deprivation that is just soul defeating. There's the headache that lingers for hours, the way my brain cannot make sentences, and my amazing ability to run into everything. Literally, everything. The only hope I have?? Watching my nephew sleep 11 hours a night. Hopefully someday we will get there!!!

What is the one thing of motherhood that you absolutely hate??

The smell of poop...

Well, if that title didn't grab your attention, I'm not sure what will! So as I am feeding Jacob at 12:30am and 5:00am, I realized that something very bad was going to happen. I was going to have to change a dirty diaper. The interesting thing?? It happened twice both times. That is a total of FOUR stinky diapers last night. That is a LOT of poop for a little boy who before wouldn't poop for days!!

As I change the diaper, I breathe in a long breath of fresh air, and then breathe through my mouth until the new diaper is on. MAN, those things are nasty!!! I'm not sure if it's because of solids or just issues going on in the digestive area. But dude, those things could knock a person out!! It's funny, whenever I change a dirty diaper and Josh goes in hours later, he says it still stinks. Maybe that's a diaper pail issue?? Anyway, it lingers!!

I heard all the time when he was firstborn, "Wait until you start solids!" And I thought, geez, these are bad already! Guess what - they get worse!! So, if you are able to breathe as you change your little ones diaper currently, I hope you now realize that this will soon end. And if it gets worse, I don't want to know!!!

When did you start holding your breath while changing diapers???

The nap fairy...

Oh boy. Those darn naps. He used to do so good with his naps, and then all of the sudden, he thought it would be much more fun to hang out with mom instead! Unfortunately, mom needs some down time too!!

So as I was researching how to get him over this "45-minute nap intruder" I found that if you startle them around 40 minutes into their nap, they skip into the next sleep cycle without really waking up. So, how do you startle them?? Well...

Some people rub or pat their babe until they startle. Someone whisper a bit until the child moves a bit. Me? I stomp my foot on the ground. Ha! I tried to pat, I tried to talk, nothing. He still kept waking up. But stomping? Pure gold!!! You would have paid gold to watch my husband's face the first time I did this without telling him what I was doing. HAHA. That was priceless.

So, what do you do to ensure that your baby gets his/her sleep???

Breaking the rules...

I would love to have someone do a guest post!! If you feel like you have something to tell about motherhood, please let me know!! Or, if you just have an idea, I'll take those too! Otherwise, you may hear about a lot of things you don't want too... :-D

So some of you may remember me writing about our poop issue. I just wanted to let you know that it is no longer an issue!! Yay Jacob!! I hope when he reads this in 20 years he doesn't beat me up. Anyway, I ended up going with my gut. I stopped using his meds and just waited. And amazingly, he is pooping up a storm!! Ask anyone in my homegroup... Ha!

This brings me to the point of all the rules and ideas of pediatricians. Although I know they have a great deal of knowledge, sometimes moms just know better. And not just peds, but the AAP and many other places that tell you what to do!! There are so many "rules" that I have broken and I'm sure there are many down the road. For example, Jacob sleeps on his tummy and started solids a few days ago at 3.5 months. Why?? He wouldn't sleep on his back for more than two hours. He was so hungry he was waking up every 3 hours at night. Does this go against "the rules"?? Heck yes. Is it right for my child?? Absolutely.

So, what rule(s) did you break??

Spit everywhere!

So in the last month we've gone from constant spewing (which does still happen!) to saliva pouring out of his mouth. Maybe pouring is a bit of an exaggeration, but there is always something coming out!! And truthfully, I find it to be more disgusting than anything else. Currently, I have spit-up and drool all over me. Bah. And at this point, I've given up changing my outfit every time he throws up or drools on me!

I have to say that the drooling and puking is worse to me than pooping and peeing. I don't quite think that is normal, but it totally is to me!! I would rather have to clean up poop and try not to die of smell than feel the warm goo all over me. Ugh!

The other thing that amazes me is how I can be so unaware now of the puke on my shirt/pants. So many parents have commented about going to work with puke on their outfits and I would continuously think, not me! I won't be like that!!! And then, one day, someone came to fix the dishwasher. And when he left, what did I see? Yep, that's right. Puke on my shoulder. Sigh. Gross!!

So what part of having a baby/small child do you find the most nasty???

My wonderful(?) new body...

When I was pregnant, the one thing I looked forward to was having my body back again after I gave birth. Even though my mother and sister-in-law both told me it wouldn't be that way, I decided they were wrong. My body would be my body again!

Well, like many things, I was wrong. My body has been transformed into a new state. I feel like by saying it's my "badge of honor" for giving birth to my child is just an excuse for the flabby tummy, stretch marks, and the scar from my c-section (as well as other saggy parts that shall not be mentioned).

On one hand, I am so amazed that my body could create and sustain a human being. On another hand, I mourn the body that I used to have! Oh to actually have a flat stomach again! Ok, well, I never really had one of those, but it was firmer!

The truth? I would never, ever trade in this post-baby body because it would mean that I wouldn't have Jacob. And every stretch mark is worth it!!

So what part of your pre-baby body do you miss??

Wishing the time away....

So last night as I was feeding my fish on my blog, I kept thinking, I wonder if they'll grow up soon?! And then, it struck me. Just as I'm wishing my fish to grow up, I'm wishing my baby to grow up too. Another new mother said to me yesterday, "this is the only day my baby will be exactly this old, and try to enjoy whatever stage it is." So wise, dear friend!!

Is this what I'm doing every single day? I wake up hoping that today is the day he rolls over, instead of enjoying those little smiles and laughs I get. I just keep looking forward to what he'll be tomorrow, next year, in ten years instead of enjoying what he is today.

Is that our culture or is that just me? I keep thinking of the interviews I conducted and how I always asked "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Why can't the question be "Where do you see yourself right now?" I guess it wouldn't be as telling! But that should be my question to myself every day. I need to stop looking for the future and enjoy the present.

Do you do this too? If not, share your secret!!!!

What age is the best???

So I was talking to some other mothers on Sunday, and they were commenting how they wanted to go back to the baby stage because all you had to do was "give them a bottle." I almost stood up and yelled, "OH NO YOU DON'T!" I did contain myself a bit... by kindly reminding them that you do not sleep. Ever. Ok, slight exaggeration. You only sleep two hours or three hours at a time unless your babe likes you. Right now, mine doesn't.

So as I was discussing this with my mother (Shout out to Mom! Hello!!), she said she would remind me of this when Jacob is 2 and driving me batty. And then, she said something profound. Yes, mother, you want to write this day and time down. She said there are good parts and bad parts to each age.

How true!! I can't wait until Jacob can crawl. But then, he's crawling! I can't wait until he goes to school. But then I'll know less in his eyes and he'll be away from me for 8 hours! Although I'll be able to clean then! Heehee...

So, what was your favorite age of your child??? And what is the age you wanted to crawl in a ball and wait for it to all be over??

Kicking the binkie...

So I decided to do something dumb. Yeah, I'll call it dumb. I decided it was time to stop using the binkie. That it was time to wean him off of it. So, today, I cut the tip of the nipple. I think Jacob's mad at his mommy! I went to put him down for a nap and he looked disgusted. And then loud crying ensued. And then, a crazy thing happened! He sucked on his hand and fell asleep.

So, could it be that in the long run, this will actually work?? Will he actually learn to fall asleep with his hand and not the pacifier?? Only time will tell! But, is it worth it??? I hate to hear him cry, even though I know in the long run it will be better for him...

So, is that what this parenting is about? Deciding the hard decisions that may hurt temporarily in order for long-term happiness? This is going to be much harder than I thought! So, for now, I will comfort and calm my sweet child while we figure out how to fall asleep without that pacifier!

What is one thing you had to remove from your child to help them in the long run???

And, yep, I just gave him the non-cut pacifier. Sigh. I'm weak!

I'll never figure this out!!!

It seems that as soon as I think everything is figured out, Jacob decides to switch it up on me. He used to sleep so good. Do you remember that post about how I was bored because he kept sleeping??? Yeah, that came back to bite me in the tushie.

He was going from 10pm to 6am without eating. Last night? 11am to 4am. And he woke up at 2am for a pacifier. I WANT TO SLEEP!!! It's almost depressing. It's easy for him because he can sleep during the day to make up for it. But me?? No can do!

I read some article that said you need 5 hours of consecutive sleep (here? http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/23/parents-losing-sleep/) in order to function. I used to have that. And now it's GONE. Gone. Gone with the wind... Sigh.

I think he wants to keep me on my toes. He doesn't want his dear mommy to think she's got this thing figured out. So, what will be next?? We did growth spurts, so is this teething????? I HOPE NOT!!

What thing do you think you have figured out and then it just gets all jumbled up???

So very forgetful...

Yesterday I had an idea of what to write today. And then, when I woke up this morning, I had NO idea what it was. Absolutely none! Sigh... What is causing this? Why does it happen? Sigh...

A close friend called it "mom-nesia". Oh, how true that is! It seems that as soon as I got pregnant, the brain went out the window. I used to be able to rely on it so heavily, and now I can't! I can't remember simple words, I can't remember what I was doing two minutes ago, and I can't remember where I put things! Half of the time I feel like I'm walking in a fog!

So, will it ever come back? Will I ever have a brain again? I feel like my child should be smart because he took half of my brain cells!! I just hope he took the good ones and not the bad ones... HA!

So, what thing do you think you've lost? Do you still have your memory/mind/intelligence???

Don't mess with our routine!!

I believe it's been in the last few days that I've finally realized how much of a routine I've created for Jacob. I have worked so hard to get him to take his naps; to go to bed; to wait 3 hours to eat (granted, if he's hungry before that, I let him eat). But, oh, I have struggled and fought to get that in place! I think Jacob already knows that I mean business. That minute I walk in there and lay him down, he had better close his little eyes and drift into dreamland.

Last night, the routine changed. And it was disasterous. I think I made up that word. Anyway, it just didn't work. Jacob wouldn't go to sleep. He knew that the "enforcer" was not putting him to sleep, and so he worked his little charm to get back up a few times. I know he's only 3 months old, but I swear that kid knows things!!!!! I think already he knows who to manipulate to get his way. And he does it! Now, I have to admit, it was the cutest thing to hear him "talking" when he was supposed to be sleeping. But, oh how I crave for that quiet time to relax before I go to bed!

So, what's the moral? Don't mess with the routine! Yeah, maybe later I'll admit it should be more flexible. But, not right now! And let me tell you little boy... Momma is stubborn. And when she says it's time to go to bed, you ARE going to bed!

What thing do you want to tell people not to mess with???

Why I wake up in the morning...

The only reason I used to wake up in the morning was to go to work. And half the time, I stayed in my comatose sleeping state until approximately noon. It became so different after I had Jacob. I actually was ok with waking up! Now, don't get me wrong, I don't entirely enjoy it. But, I have a reason now to actually open my eyes. This is my reason:


If I'm having a bad day or he's being particularly grumpy, I just want to give up! But, then, the moment he shows me his upper gums and does his little laugh, I can do it. It's so amazing how that little smile just makes everything worthwhile!!

So, what is it that makes you get through the day??

And, a mad shout out to my dear friend who is in LABOR!! Many prayers for a safe and quick delivery!!

The trials of babes...

So we're having a bit of trouble in our household. The babe is not pooping. Really. He's been on meds, and still nothing. Nothing! Is this too personal?? Anyway, I have no idea what to do anymore. I've tried the bicycle legs, and many other things I'm not sure I should write about!!!

I feel helpless. Have you ever felt this way as a mother?? There's absolutely nothing I can do to help him. I would change places with him in a heartbeat! This intense love I have for this little bugger makes me want to change the entire world to make sure he's never in pain, never hurting, never unhappy.

I have to admit, that intense love took a bit to develop. But, as I woke up at 5:30 am and decided to make sure he was still breathing, it's definitely there now! It's amazing how such a small little baby can create such intense emotions in you. It's honestly nothing I have ever experienced before! And, for the rest of the day, I will be working on getting my babe to poop. Because, I hate that he's hurting!!

So, what thing makes you feel helpless??

The glow of a Grandmother...

So I was enjoying a lovely lunch with my dear friend at Honey Baked Ham (word!) and a new mother walked in with her baby as well as her parents. The funny part? Although I noticed the mom, it was the grandma that caught my attention. I'm not sure if it was the beaming smile that seemed to fill up the entire restaurant or the giddy look she had while looking at her newest grandchild.

It made me think of my mom and how excited she has been about Jacob. Partly, I think the glow is because they haven't been up every three hours and can give the baby back whenever it's hungry. But, another part of me thinks it's this amazing patience they have. My mom has said that before. When I'm about to be at the end of my rope, she just gently reminds me that this too shall pass and to breathe.

What is it about a grandmother that is so calming not only to the mom but to the baby?? I feel like they just exert patience and sweetness and kindness. Now, I know this isn't true for EVERY grandmother. And, I know that sometimes the grandmother offers advice you just don't like. But there's definitely something to be said for that patience!!!

What's your favorite part about having "grandma" in your life???

The club of motherhood...

Today was Jacob's very first play date! Alright, he slept in his stroller while I talked to other mom's with toddlers. It was a BLAST! The one woman in MOPS told us that play dates were more for the moms than the kids. I AGREE. Especially since most of the moms sat and chatted while their kids worked on their riding skills. It was so nice to spend some time with other moms who understood why you had throw-up on your shoulder and were dressed in a t-shirt. Speaking of which, I better get myself some nicer clothes for play dates! Haha!

It just reminds me of how neat this new club of motherhood is that I've joined. I think as soon as you become pregnant, you become a member. It's one membership that requires no fees and has no obligations (except, of course, being in possession of a child!). It starts off with those sweet looks of understanding when your can't see past your toes any longer. Then it goes to the compassion when your child won't stop screaming. Then the knowledgeable look of "we've been there" when they just won't listen.

I'm so very glad I joined this new group! It's definitely been so neat to meet other mom's and know that they understand every struggle I'm going through, because they've been there too. And even though they now look so put together and clean, I know they use to wear t-shirts with spit-up on them too.

So what was the moment you realized you were part of a new club called motherhood??

The art of sleep...

Something strange is happening to my baby. Something very, very strange. He wants to sleep. Yes, that's right, you read it correctly! He's been sleeping 8 hours at night, and 2 hour naps. Where did this baby come from??? And I definitely do not want him to go away!!!

It seems like the last 3 months my entire goal of every day was getting my bugger to nap and sleep at night. And now he's doing it!! So, what do I do with myself now?? I was trying to think of some things...

1. Nap. Oh wait, I'm getting 6 hours of straight sleep! Guess not...
2. Clean. Nope, definitely not this one.
3. Go through the pile of boxes from college. Nahhh. They've been fine for 3 years, what's another year?
4. Print off pictures. This I could do, but I've been spending lots of money lately, and I don't think hubby would be pleased.
5. Read a book? This has potential!
6. Watch TV? Yep, this sounds good!

What things do you do when your little one naps?? I need ideas!!!!

Trying to be perfect...

Have you ever felt like you need to be the perfect mom? (Or dad, sibling, child, etc.) I had been beating myself up a bit because I had left breastmilk out for 10 hours and it got nasty. Seriously nasty! And someone said to me, "If you haven't figured it out yet, you can't be a perfect parent." I sat there thinking, but I'm not trying to be perfect! And then it dawned on me - yep, I was trying! I wanted to be the best mom ever and I never wanted anyone to look at me and think, my what a bad parent!

I guess the realization came to me recently because I had to supplement with formula last night. It made me feel like a failure that I could not breastfeed my child to his satisfaction. Does that really make me a bad person?? Does that make me less of a mom?? Absolutely not!!!!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

The world definitely has its pressures for mom's. But if we don't live up to the world's standards, what does it matter?? If everyone else believes a child should be formula fed and you breastfeed, what does it matter?? Isn't the important part that your child is fed and thriving??

No, I will never be perfect. And neither will you! But perfection as a mom is not based on whether or not we do everything the world wants us to. It's based on loving our child the best way we know how to.

What was the moment you realized you weren't a perfect mom??

Staying in Control... or not!

So, we are going away for the weekend to my husband's parents! I'm very excited to see them and spend some time, but also worried about our trip, etc. This isn't the first time we've traveled, but it still makes me nervous! And, it's supposed to actually get cold this weekend! So, it's the first time Jacob will be wearing a sweater! Ha - how funny that this is what I get excited about nowadays!!

Of course, my goal is to keep everything in my control. Jacob will sleep and eat on the trip when I want him to, he will take his naps when I tell him to, he will sleep over the weekend when I tell him too... Are any of you other mom's laughing?? Can I say, YEAH RIGHT!

I met a mom at a friend's wedding a few weekends ago. The one thing she said to me that continually sticks with me is that when I try to control things, they because even more out of my control. HOW TRUE!! This child thing has made me more flexible than I ever thought I could be! And, I'm really not even that flexible!!

So, what does that mean for this weekend?? That means, I need to relax! If he needs to eat while we travel, then we'll stop and feed him. If he doesn't nap when he's supposed to, we'll fix it next week.

What thing(s) do you try to control that never seems to work??

New Mom Advice...

So, today was the busiest I think I've been since Jacob was born!! I went to our MOPS program this morning, started a biblestudy with a friend this afternoon, and am going to a party to celebrate my husband's successful defense of his thesis!! WHEW! I am TIRED. All I want is to curl up in a ball and sleep for a month or two!!

At MOPS today, I met a soon-to-be mom. All I said to her was, "SLEEP NOW!" Ok, I may have said it about ten times. Anyway, it made me think of all the advice I received when I was pregnant. It was pretty constant! But, now, being a mom, I've decided it's time for me to give my advice too! Why? Because I know what she's feeling!!

Isn't it funny?? While pregnant, I enjoyed the stories, but a lot were over the top. So, now, with this new found knowledge, what should I impart to new mom's?? What nuggets of wisdom do I have that I can help them with??

I mean, there are just so many things!! My dear friend Kate can attest, as I talked her ear off a few weeks ago with everything I wish I had known before I gave birth! So, let's limit it to the top 5. Here's what I want every pregnant woman to know...

1. Getting up to pee is not like getting up to nurse. When you get up to pee, you easily and quickly fall back asleep. You are not responsible for picking up a squirming baby, feeding and burping baby without dropping them, and getting them back to sleep safely. I specifically remember falling asleep burping Jacob one night. It was a second, but it was crazy!!
   
2. The intense love everyone talks about may not come right away. I think it took me a month to really intensely love Jacob. I was his fierce protector, but a little jealous that my relationship with my husband would never be the same again...
3. Talking about bodily functions is normal. You will talk about your child's bowel movements and how many wet diapers they have a day. And, if you're breastfeeding, those suckers will leak. EVERYWHERE.
4. Speaking of leaking, make sure you have something to get out of the shower with. They will leak immediately and you will not be able to move. Really.
5. No matter how bad your day is, when you get home or the baby wakes up and he/she gives you a smile, everything will melt away. And, in that moment, it is ALL worth it. Every single moment!

So, what advice would you give a pregnant woman?? And what advice did you hate receiving??

Loving my cookies...

For some reason, staying at home has made me a cookie monster. Yes, a cookie monster. Baby is sleeping?? Eat a cookie! Laundry is half-done?? Eat a cookie! What is so addicting about those darn cookies??

So after I lost all of my baby weight in two weeks, it started to creep back on. See, you don't have to be jealous! I'm getting fatter again! And you know, I realized it was the cookies. Duh me!! I wanted to blame it on what was in the cookies, but after eating 8+ a day, it OBVIOUSLY was not the cookies!

So, now I'm trying to eat 4 cookies a day. They're oreo's so they are tiny. That's what I like to tell myself. I find that my down times make me want to eat. So the new goal? No down time! I need to occupy myself all of the time. What could that mean?? Drinking water instead of eating cookies. Surfing the web a bit. Cleaning something dirty. Exercising.

Will the cookies win or will I? Stay tuned!

And, what is your guilty pleasure? Food? Internet? Cleaning?

Sweet Quietness!

By far, my favorite time of the day has been around 5am. Yes, that's right, 5am! Why?? My little one has finally gone to sleep after his early morning feeding, and my dear husband is asleep. Which means, the world is MINE! There is something so peaceful when the whole world around me (ok, maybe just my apartment) is still asleep! It's me, the birds, and that rising sun!

And for me, this is pretty much a miracle. I am NOT a morning person. But through this new motherhood, I realize that there are small moments of quietness and peace. And usually, it happens when our babe is asleep. Ha! I think I new this before I got pregnant, but now I know it for real!!

I have the freedom to get a drink of water, go to the bathroom, check my email, lurk on facebook and babycenter, and there is no one asking me to pack their lunch :-) or feed them or play with them! I guess I can chalk it up to the selfishness of having a moment to myself. Ahhh. It's so glorious!!

So, when is your "my" moment during the day and what is your favorite part about it??

Me vs. Baby

So, do anyone of you feel like some days are just a battle of wills?? Like, when my LO wakes up and his nap should not yet be over!! Somedays, I win. Somedays (a lot), I lose. We had a pretty horrible weekend with naps. I don't know if it was because daddy was home and my LO wanted to spend time with him?? Either way, he decided if he slept for 45 minutes that was good enough!

Fast forward to today, he decides he's going to keep doing this 45 minute stuff. Well, I've had it! He needs his nap or he gets GRUMPY. So, I kept reinserting the pacifier. Yes, I did it about 20 times. But, in the end, I WON! He went back to sleep!!! So now it's time for him to get up, and he's still sleeping. I'm not waking him up this time because who knows what will happen the next nap! Ha!

Do you ever feel like you have a battle to win with your little one?? What is the battle, and do you win???

Pure Exhaustion

So last night at the grocery store, we ran into a gentleman who had a 5 week old baby. It catapulted me back to those days!! Do you remember them?? I do! No sleep, no memory and just trying to survive each moment! I kept telling him, "It gets better!" Although, if I remember right, I didn't believe anyone when else when they said it either!

How is it that when I was getting sleep in increments of two hours, I felt just as rested as now when I get sleep in 4-6 hour increments?? And isn't it amazing how you still love that little baby who is so changing your sleep patterns?? I know for a fact that if my husband did that, he would easily be on the futon every single night and I would give him death stares all day!

I think I've decided that all new parents should have live-in help for the first two months. What would it entail?? Thanks for asking!

1. Cooked meals. Breakfast, lunch and dinner! No worrying about what to make while taking care of an infant. Meals just appear!
   
2. Cleaning. My most hated chore! Never would that floor have fuzzies or other disgusting things strewn on it. It would be spic and span!
   
3. Laundry. Although I don't hate this, how nice would it be for somebody else to take care of it??
4. Taking baby when its fussy. This would be by far my favorite! I hate when my little one cries and cries and there's nothing wrong. This person would rock them to sleep, reinsert pacifiers at 2am, etc.
   

Wouldn't that be awesome!??!?! I have to say, I had my mom and mom-in-law for about a week and half after I got home from the hospital, and it was glorious! I hated when they left... I'm pretty sure I bawled!

Do you have anything else to add to the list?? Does the sleeping keep getting better or worse??

The Hero?

Have any of you noticed that your baby may look at you and expect that you know exactly what is wrong and how to fix it?? Today is the probably third time he's done this since he was born almost 12 weeks ago. I've had times where daddy is right there, and he seems to look past daddy, focus in on me, and make his cry. Almost like he's saying, "Mom!! I need this and you know what it is!!"

How inadequate I feel when I cannot seem to understand what he needs! Yes, sometimes I get it right, but it's usually by chance. Why is it that I feel so horrible when I cannot seem to solve the problem? By not solving his problem, have I ceased to be his hero?? Will he still look at me to solve his problems and hurts when he's 2, 5, 10?

I guess this makes me relate our relationship with Christ. Isn't it amazing how being a parent constantly makes you think of your relationship with Christ? Anyway, I have so many hurts and needs, and I try to do the same thing my son does. I reach out for Christ to hear my problems and solve them. Even though he understands exactly how we feel, sometimes his answer is no or wait. And how we hate those times!!

Have you ever felt like you are your child's hero? What did you do when you couldn't meet his/her needs??

Day Two...

So, after having my dear little boy in June, it's been decided that I will be a Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM) for now! I am so very excited to begin this journey, and get to see each milestone of my sweet babe. Truthfully, part of me is sad to lose that "adult" interaction. Did I really enjoy my working job? Sometimes. Is being a mom so much better? Definitely yes!

I guess part of me feels like the walls are going to close in on me and swallow me whole. That, for some reason, what I've enjoyed these past 11 weeks may change and all of the sudden I won't like it anymore. Why do I have all of these doubts when I know this is what God intends right now? If He has given it to me, He will see me through. So, where is that faith of mine??

My little boy is 11 weeks as of Sunday. He is growing and moving and changing every single day! We're finally starting to sleep a bit more as he sleeps anywhere from 6-8 hours right now. It keeps getting longer, so it's definitely encouraging!

So, please join me on this new journey I'm undertaking!

And, what was your first feeling when you knew you'd be a SAHM??